I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
