I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize