Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
