Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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