you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
