i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize