So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
we're making bets on your personal life
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
