Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I've blown a few things in my day
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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