If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
