gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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