how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I need moral support for this bender
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
