I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
