Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
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