if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
