mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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