Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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