i permit you to call me
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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