At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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