I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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