Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
