brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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