she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm determined to sit on that face.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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