We got so high we made milksteak
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize