the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
