...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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