This is not my ceiling
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
