sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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