Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
