that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I need to calm my uterus...
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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