I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
