She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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