What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
