dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
