Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
