32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
