Christians are straight up FREAKS
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize