I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
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