i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
