Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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