jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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