You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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