You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
love makes seman taste better
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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