tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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