Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
