were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
