I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
