So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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