I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
