i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
