Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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