Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
