he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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