Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You took a bar mat shot.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
