rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
