that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I think my moral compass just broke
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
