Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
This baby is an asshole
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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