How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
