so explain again why im purple
no
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
