I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
