with your own penis?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Is it penis luge time yet?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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