I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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